He'd Never Let Her Fall
by Forensic Kitteh
Summary: Letting a friend fall... it's kinda like letting yourself fall. R/N friendship only. And if you see anything remotely romantic, don't review it. KIDDING. K-T rating. One-shot


**Teehhheee. New oneshot. ONLY A ONESHOT. **

**I wrote this sometime in...July? And didn't wanna post it. It sounded strange to read. But okay, TCY is finished, read this, hold on for another ELEVEN days and then wait for an explosion. You might just hear it coming through the internet. **

Natalia sighed. She felt herself shaking, even though it wasn't cold. Her mind was fuzzy, as though she'd had a few drinks, even though it was one in the afternoon, and she hadn't been to bar for a few days. All her scars suddenly stinged of an unknown pain, and her arm was getting something that Natalia had dubbed a "panic pain", something that she felt in the hollow of her bones whenever Nick had come home drunk. Oh god, Nick. No matter how hard Natalia tried to earse him from her mind, memories of his torture kept floating into her mind. How he hated her, even though she thought that he loved her, how he kept telling her that she was nothing, not even worth the wedding band that he gave her.

"Natalia!" A voice floated through many layers of Natalia's thoughts, making her jump.

"Yeah?" Natalia excliamed. The person that was before her was Ryan, watching Natalia with concerned hazel eyes. Natalia bit her lip, and concentrated on staring at the keyboard before her.

"Nat, you can't ignore it. You need help." Ryan said, but somehow, Ryan's voice didn't sound caring, but it sounded metallic and the words came out as an order.

"Ignore what?" Natalia asked, stablizing herself on the glass table. All these nerve wracking events made Natalia forget that she needed to eat. "I'm fine, really." Natalia lied through gritted teeth, wondering if Ryan knew that she was lying. Of course he knew, he always knew everything about her.

"That you need help. You're spaced out, no one knows what's bothering you, and if any one of us asked you what's wrong, you wouldn't tell us anyways." Ryan said. "We're only guessing, shading in the details. I know that you're going through a tough time right now with all the situations you've been in lately, but don't try to hide it. It's going to mess you up, and your work too." Ryan said.

"I'm fine, Ryan. It's not going to go there." Natalia said.

"It's already there, Natalia. Just... don't do anything too stupid." Ryan sighed.

-0-0-0-0-

"So, anyone up for a drink?" Natalia asked. Ryan scowled quietly, staring at the insides of his locker. He wanted to pretend like Natalia, that nothing was wrong, but he loved her too much to do that. A little voice in his voice kept telling him that if he let Natalia fall to tiny peices before his eyes, he would blame himself for not catching her. And that little voice was telling the truth.

"Sorry, BV, can't." Walter frowned. "I got case notes I gotta go over." Walter sighed, and closed his locker shut, before leaving the locker room. Natalia turned to Ryan.

"How about you? Even though I'm a bit annoyed by your nagging me." Natalia smiled. Ryan looked over at Natalia, thinking. She really could hide everything that she was feeling and you would only witness the truth by accident.

"Uh, sure." Ryan shrugged, following Natalia out. Natalia was driving, much to Ryan's disapproval.

After a few drinks, Natalia had excused herself, and hurried towards the bathroom. But Ryan watched her as she slipped out the back door. After ten minutes, Ryan forced himself to get up and invenstigate.

Outside, clouds were beginning to build up, proposing a nasty Miami rainshower. Ryan could've swore that he felt rain drops fall onto his head as he reached Natalia's car, findng her sitting on the hood, staring at the asphallt. But even from a bit afar, Ryan could see that she was in tears, so he braced himself, biting his tongue quite literary so that he wouldn't say anything stupid like he usually would.

"And you said that nothing was wrong." Ryan said, sitting down next to Natalia. Then he mentally stepped on his toe. So much for not saying anything stupid.

"Ryan, please, just leave." Natalia whimpered through hiccups.

"Why? Because you don't want me to witness this? Because you don't want me to think that you're weak?" Ryan asked, Natalia stared at him, before shooting up off the hood, looking genuinly pissed off. "Natalia, wait up." Ryan caught Natalia right before she entered the bar, again, latching onto her wrist.

"What?" Natalia hissed, even though Ryan saw tears forming in her eyes.

"Don't do this to yourself, Nat." Ryan said, seeing Natalia bite her lip so hard he was afraid that it would actually break the skin and start bleeding.

"Why?" Natalia asked, not even caring that tears were cascading down her cheeks. "I can't even keep my emotions in check, and you're telling me to do the opposite." Natalia said, her voice becoming unaturally raspy.

"I'm just telling you to not make "keeping your emotions in check" into a the beginning of self destruction. Trust me, Nat, I've been down that road, and it's no fun." Ryan sighed.

"You just don't understand, Ryan." Natalia avoided his eyes, staring at the pavement, only looking up when she felt Ryan's gentle hands holding hers.

"Stop. If I don't understand, then why won't you help me understand?" Ryan asked, but instead of answering, Natalia nearly flung herself into Ryan's chest, sobbing. "Or don't. Whatever works for you." Ryan sighed, closing his arms around Natalia, as a clap of thunder sounded somewhere in the distance. Ryan didn't want to let go of Natalia, feeling that Natalia was holding onto him like she was holding onto him for dear life. They were always there for each other, even if they never wanted to really show it. Natalia had helped him when his gambling made the lab news, without really questioning anything, and didn't rub any salt into his wounds after the Russians had blackmailed him into stealing evidence by not siding with Eric and Calleigh. And then he himself always wanted to help Natalia out of sticky situation, even if he knew that it could cost him as much as his life. "So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Ryan asked, lifting Natalia's chin, so that her eyes were looking right as him.

Just the color of Ryan's eyes sent chills down Natalia's spine. Then she calculated how stupid she looked right now, mascara tracks down her cheeks and all. "Funny." Natalia said, trying to escape Ryan's embrace, but Ryan's arms were locked firmly around her waist.

"Natalia, why are you just avoiding the fact that something is bothering you? It's bothering you so much that you were just crying in my arms?" Ryan asked. Natalia frowned, being once again reminded on how pathetic she was.

"You wouldn't understand even if I explained to you." Natalia sighed.

"Okay, that makes some sense. But I probably could relate. Because somehow, I see being a person that is drowning in gambling debt while stuggling with gambling addiction, and being looked upon as a failure of a cop kinda compares with your situation." Ryan said, cocking his head slightly, tucking a lock of hair behind Natalia's ear.

"Yeah, maybe. I still don't want to talk about." Natalia sighed, pulling herself out of Ryan hold before reaching into the pocket of her jacket to look for her keys. "Oh damn..." Natalia muttered.

"Looking for something?" Ryan smirked, holding her keys in his hand.

"How the-?" Natalia frowned.

"You're drunk, Natalia, and I'd never in my life would let one of my friends drive home drunk. I've witnessed too many nasty DUIs to let that happen." Ryan said, and Natalia laughed.

"And you're not?" Natalia asked.

"Nope. Still under the legal intoxication limit." Ryan grinned.

"God, I hate you." Natalia grumbled, walling back towards to her car.

"I won't wreck your car." Ryan said, and Natalia scoffed.

"Let us make that a 'I hopefully won't wreck your car.'" Natalia said, taking her not so usual seat.

"If this survives your driving..." Ryan trailed off, and Natalia smirked. "At least you're smiling." Ryan sighed.

"For the time being. Thanks to you." Natalia half smiled, Ryan noticing a small sparkle in her eyes. It died quickly after, but it was still there none the less.

The ride back to the Natalia's apartment was executed in complete silence, partly because Ryan had no idea what to say and partly because none of them wanted to talk. The last part was underlined twice in Natalia's book.

"Oh wait." Natalia said, her mouth closing suddenly. "How are you going to get home?" Natalia asked looking at Ryan.

"I'm quite smart." Ryan scowled. "I could take your car then pick you up in the morning." Ryan said. But the suggestion sounded so stupid, Ryan's mind put up the closed sign for the night.

"And how do I know that you won't wreck it later this night?" Natalia asked, and Ryan sighed, staring at Natalia with playfully tired eyes. "You could at least come in for some coffee. Or tea. Whatever works for you. And the couch doesn't really bite." Natalia smiled, letting Ryan into her house. Ryan sighed, know that the moment he stepped into Natalia's home, he wouldn't ever be able to return back into normal life. Not that he was sure that he wanted to return to normal life ever again.

...

"I think I found only one problem with this setup right now." Ryan said when Natalia came out of her bedroom wearing pajama pants and camisole.

"Crap. I forgot that you were here." Natlaia sighed, heading to the kitchen for a cup of souless and bitter coffee.

"I don't mind. It's amusing to see you like a human for change." Ryan said, and Natalia cracked a small smile.

"Very funny. Sorry for making you end up here, and witness that last night." Natalia apologized. "Coffee?" She asked. Ryan shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes, then." Natalia said.

"Like I said, I don't mind." Ryan said. Natalia rolled her eyes. "Things seem to have a hard time getting across to you."

"And once again, very funny." Natalia said. a few moments were spent in total silence before Natalia suddenly set her mug of coffee down. "Why did you do it?" Natalia asked.

"Do what?" Ryan asked, setting down his mug on the table. Natalia looked at him and then did a double take, choking on her coffee a bit. What she didn't realize was the fact that Ryan was sitting there at the counter, wearing an undershirt and boxers. Now Natalia was having a problem translating the scene in her mind.

But he was just a friend.

"Tell me to stop being an idiot." Natalia said. "Which for some reason did not translate into "Toughen up, Natalia."" Natalia frowned.

Ryan couldn't help but smile. "Because you looked like you needed someone to snap you into real life and hug you." Ryan grinned.

"Well, thanks for that." Natalia said. "Anyways... I'll drive you back to where ever you live, and we'll never speak of this incident again." Natalia said. "At least not in the presence of people that may take it the wrong way." Natalia added as an afterthought. "Deal?"

"You don't know where I live?" Ryan asked, furrowing his brow.

"No!" Natalia snapped, laughing. "So, deal?"

"Fine, deal." Ryan sighed. "Actually, your couch was rather comfy. You don't think it could be a place for me to crash sometime in the future if I need to?" Ryan asked, a smirk unfurling on his face.

"And for what reason will you even need to crash anywhere? Because crashing on people's couches does not seem like the OCD Ryan that I know for the past four years." Natalia said, and Ryan grinned.

"I dunno, maybe my house will flood. Maybe I'll get robbed." Ryan said, and Natalia exploded onto laugher.

"Damn you!" Natalia swore, not being able to regain her breath.

"For what?" Ryan asked, his hazel eyes glinting with mischief.

"Just damn you." Natalia smirked.

"Mean." Ryan frowned, as Natalia passed him a mug of coffee.

"Thanks." Natalia sighed, sitting down one seat away from Ryan.

"You're welcome." Ryan said. For anyone, that thank you- your welcome exchange would've been a starcastic one, but not for Ryan and Natalia. For them it had a different meaning.

* * *

><p><strong>So, reviews? For one of your FAVORITE authors? <strong>


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